Decon: The Movie
"We're going to be court-martialed, I just know it."
"Oh, Bonnie, hush. We're not going to be court-martialed," her roommate told her. Mae Lawless pushed a lock of hair out of her face as she finished hooking up the external player to the room's monitor. The engineer didn't want this in the ship's computer systems for anyone to be able to find.
The door chimed, and the two women froze. They looked at each other, hoping it was their invited guests and not someone else - like certain superior officers.
"Who is it?" Bonnie called through the door.
"Stephanie, Liz, and Hoshi," came the security ensign's response. Bonnie hit the door release with a smile. The three women eagerly crowded into the room, Hoshi holding up a covered tray from the mess hall.
"Chef loves me," the communications expert announced as she whipped the cover off the tray. Several bowls filled with chocolates sat on the tray, along with a bowl of whipped cream.
Liz sighed. "Chef does love you." She reached for one of the bowls and picked out a piece. She dipped it in the whipped cream before taking a bite. Her eyes widened. "Forget loving you," the exo-biologist said around the mouthful of chocolate. "The man must worship the ground you walk on - this is real chocolate!"
Stephanie reached for a piece and tried it. "Hoshi, what did you tell him we were doing?"
Hoshi gave a smug smile as she set the tray on the floor and sat down next to it. "I told him we were having a girl's night in. Of course, this is after I gave him the cookbooks I picked up on the last planet we visited."
Bonnie laughed. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but the way to Chef's heart is through a new cookbook?"
"Something like that."
Stephanie shook her head. "Sorry, Bonnie, but the way to a man's heart is with a knife through the ribcage on the left side of his chest."
Mae laughed as she double-checked the connections. "You have been around Lieutenant Reed way too long, Stephanie."
"Just don't tell your boss that," Stephanie said with a smile. "He might get jealous."
Mae didn't respond, instead she sat down next to the others, a padd in one hand as a remote control. "Are we ready?"
Stephanie frowned. "Liz, are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, well..."
"Hell, Stephanie, it's not like half the women and some of the men on the ship don't drool over Travis when he's working out. Just as long as you all remember who he belongs to," she added with a scowl.
The other four women held up their hands in surrender. Liz nodded. "Okay, now that that's settled, let's go."
Mae smiled and pointed the padd at the player. "Ladies, I give you 'Decon: The Movie'."
The screen changed from blank to the decon room, looking as it did when not in use. After a few seconds, the door slid open and Captain Archer, Commander Tucker, Lieutenant Reed, and Ensign Mayweather entered, all in their regulation blue briefs. They each held a jar of decon gel. The door closed behind them and the blue lights came on.
"You think we really caught somethin' on the planet?"
"You saying you don't trust Ensign Cutler, Trip?" Archer asked as he began spreading the gel on his arms.
"It's not that I don't trust her, it's just that I hate going through decon. Always afraid I'll end up trapped in here again."
"Even if we didn't pick up something, I'm sure the ensign just wants to be thorough in making sure we are safe to return to our duties," Malcolm said patiently as he covered his own arms in gel. "Especially considering that Doctor Phlox elected to remain on the planet overnight."
Travis bent over to coat his legs, giving the five women a view of his back and fine ass. "Glad he did. I don't know about the rest of you, but I didn't exactly relish the thought of going through decon with him."
Trip chuckled. "Good point, Travis. We'd have had to draw straws to see who'd spread the gel on his back."
"Speaking of that, turn around Travis," the captain ordered.
The ensign did so without complaint, looking at the other two men and holding up his gel-covered hands. "Commander, Lieutenant?"
"I think I can take care of the Commander, but thank you, Travis," Malcolm replied, his formal phrasing belied by the sparkle in his gray eyes. He scooped up some of the gel and began coating Trip's back. Trip hissed at the cold but soon relaxed into Malcolm's touch.
"Think we should get them a room?" the captain asked indulgently as he turned around so Travis could efficiently spread the gel down his back.
"Would we want to explain to Doctor Phlox why they need their own decon room?"
"Phlox would probably insist on installing cameras so he could watch," the captain agreed.
Mae had to pause the playback as Liz and Stephanie started choking on the chocolate bars. "If they only knew!" Stephanie exclaimed when she could finally talk again.
Bonnie giggled. "Forget Phlox, they need to worry about us!"
Mae grinned. "Makes me glad the camera is now in several pieces in several different recycling bins on the ship."
"Sneaky," Hoshi said with a smile. "What about the recording device?"
Mae gestured towards the player. "I'm using it for playback. Didn't want this in the ship's computer. I'll do the same to it when we're done."
"Will we ever be done with this?" Liz asked slyly.
Bonnie smiled. "I think someone wants her own personal copy."
"Well, you have to admit, this is better that some of the stuff they show on movie night," Liz replied as Mae started the playback again.
Malcolm turned around so Trip could spread the decon gel down his lover's back. The ladies noticed that both men were facing away from their companions, for good reason. Being mostly naked and spreading gel on each other had an obviously arousing effect on the partners.
Travis and Jon were politely not looking at Trip and Malcolm, though they were giving each other knowing smirks as they finished with the gel and sat down on the bench to await the verdict from Liz. Trip glanced over his shoulder to see Jon and Travis' backs were towards him. A sly smile crossed his face before he turned Malcolm around and kissed him. Malcolm's eyes were wide in surprise, darting toward his captain and his friend. He pushed Trip away from him, frowning. Trip grinned unrepentantly, but made no further attempts to romance his partner. Instead the two men leaned against the back wall, Malcolm's head eventually resting against the taller man's shoulder. Trip turned and brushed his lips over his lover's hair.
Bonnie sighed, earning a quizzical look from Stephanie. "They're just so...good together, you know?" the helmsman explained. "Romantic without being overly mushy."
Stephanie nodded, knowing what Bonnie meant. "I just wouldn't say that around Lieutenant Reed," she cautioned with a smile.
Bonnie shuddered. "Wouldn't dream of it. The man is deadly with a phase pistol, even one set on stun."
Stephanie patted Bonnie sympathetically on the shoulder.
On the screen, Liz's voice came through the speakers. "Okay, gentlemen, you're free to go."
"Thank you, Ensign," Jon said as he stood up and hit the door stud. The lights turned off and the door opened. The captain left the room, and Travis and Trip followed. Malcolm lingered behind, picking up the gel containers to deposit them in their bin. He set them down on the bench, looked out the door, then directly at the camera. He moved his hands in a strange pattern that caused Stephanie to spit her mouthful of chocolate on her shirt. Malcolm winked at the camera before leaving the room.
Mae turned off the playback and turned to Stephanie. "What the hell was that?" The engineer's eyes were wide. When they had planned this, she thought she had hidden the camera so that even the over-observant armory lieutenant wouldn't see it.
"Sign language," Stephanie rasped out. "Something he taught us in case we needed to communicate without making sound - like if aliens board the ship again."
"What did he say?" Liz asked, also wide-eyed at the thought of Lieutenant Reed knowing what they had been up to.
"He said he hoped we enjoyed the show, but he didn't want to see this spread around ship."
"I swear, on pain of resequenced chocolate and being Lieutenant Reed's target dummy, that this is not getting around ship," Hoshi said.
The others agreed.
"But you have to admit, the sight of those four men in decon was worth it," Liz said.
"Definitely. I shall have good dreams tonight!" Mae said with a happy sigh.
"I bet Travis will be having a good night too," Stephanie added with a sly glance at her bunkmate.
"Not saying anything," Liz replied with a wicked grin.
Hoshi got up. "I'm going back to my quarters. God, too bad Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reed are taken. Such a waste of good men."
Liz and Stephanie got up too. Bonnie, still on the floor, tilted her head. "Somehow, I don't think they would agree with you, Hoshi."
On another deck, in another cabin, Malcolm Reed worshiped the body of his lover and thanked whoever had decided this man was meant for him.